DailyFUN.info

A blonde at the grocery store:
- I would like 4 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and 4 onions
- I can help you with the tomatoes and the potatoes, but not with the onions…
- Ok… than I’ll have 2 tomatoes, 2 potatoes and 2 onions
- I see you don’t understand me: I have tomatoes, I have potatoes, but I have no onions
- I see… than I’ll have a tomato, a potato and an onion
- Ok, let’s do this the other way around. If you take the “mato” out of the “tomato”, what do you have?
- Aaaa… “to”?
- Right, and if you take the “tato” out of the “potato”, what do you have?
- Aaaa… “po”?
- Excellent, and if you take the “fuck” out of the “onion”, what do you have?
- Aaaa… aaa… but there is no “fuck” in “onion”
- Exactly, there is no fuckin’ onion!

A blonde entered a store that sold curtains and told the salesman she wanted to buy a pair of pink curtains. He showed her several patterns but the blonde was struggling to make a choice. Eventually she selected a pink floral print.
“What size curtains do you need?” asked the salesman.
“Fifteen Inches”, replied the blonde.
“That sounds very small. What room are they for?”
“They’re not for a room”, said the blonde. “They’re for my computer monitor.”
The salesman was baffled. “But, miss, computers do not need curtains.
The blonde said, “Hellloooo! … I’ve got Windooows!

One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed “We can assume the length is infinite…” and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said “I declare myself to be on the outside.”